Posts tagged: Suffering
“But it is funny, because after Pat’s sermon I realized how often I prayed for God to change things with (this), or make it stop upsetting me and hurt so much. He did neither, but He sustained me. And now, a week after the realization, He made circumstances worse, made them hurt a whole lot more, but His love is still there holding me. It actually puts a sharper focus on how powerful His mercy is in endurance. I’m continually reminded of something Piper said in regards to the story of Lazarus in John: It is more loving for God to reveal Christ for who He is and how valuable He is that it is for God to keep us from pain and suffering; even death. And I know that, and am continually grateful for God’s grace and mercy in sustaining me.”
Things will always suck. Something will always be going wrong in one way or another. And occasionally things will get really bad, really bleak, really dark. And things will hurt. And things will make me sad. But God is always a sound foundation. And He has to be.
Imagine you are sprawled out on the ground, feeling like death. And you need to try and stand back up. Weak knees, weak will. And you begin to rise, just a bit. If that foundation under your feet sways even a little, you will end right back on your face. And you tremble and try to stand more, and stabilize. And again, you need that foundation to be solid. Because it takes a long time to stand tall again, but eventually you do have to stand up.
And the worse things get the more clearly we see Christ. The brighter that light shines. Now anyone who knows me knows that I hate suffering, and that right now sucks. But at the same time, there is a bright beacon of hope in things. And it would be stupid and counter-productive to ignore it. Suffering produces hope (with some steps in the middle). And God’s love is more pronounced in our appreciation of Christ even more than it is in His keeping us from suffering.
I don’t know that there is a more significant and important story from the Bible, in terms of my life, than Jesus raising Lazarus in John 11. I can’t think of anything that has a greater affect, gives me greater comfort, or allows me to understand a significant and oftentimes questioned attribute of God. Namely, His sovereignty in suffering.
Lazarus is sick and so his sisters go find Jesus and tell Him. And then we get to verses 5-6. “Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So, when he heard that Lazarus was ill, he stayed two days longer in the place where he was.” (Side tangent. Verse 6 is one of those places where I hate the NIV. It translates the word “so” as “yet” and messes things up. “So” implies causation, as in I want X, so Y, where X is directly related to Y. “Yet” implies a greater desire, as in I want X, yet Y, where Y is greater than X and so Y occurs. Every good, literal translation uses some form of “so” which is proper. The NIV messes this one up). The “so” here is so important. Jesus loves Lazarus and so he lets him die. How are those two related? Jesus answered that in Verse 4, saying, “This illness does not lead to death. It is for the glory of God, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it.”
I could go on, but essentially, this story is showing us that it is more loving of God to glorify His name, to reveal Christ as powerful, and to show us who He truly is, than it is for God to keep us from suffering, even death. God’s glory is more important than any life.
And so I stop and look around and wonder if I am in Lazarus’ place right now. Not literally dying, but suffering. Having to die so that I may be raised, and in that Christ will be revealed all the more and God will be glorified. If this passage weren’t here to give a direct link between Christ’s true love of sinners, like Mary and Martha and Lazarus, and those same sinners suffering even to the point of death, then I think my life would make so much less sense.
And then there is verse 35, “Jesus wept.” And this shows me that even though we can trust God’s sovereignty and His great plan, we can also feel real emotions, like sadness.
Some people try to be helpful, to encourage me, and it is singularly unhelpful. They say things like, “Don’t be upset, God has a plan in this!” Or some such thing. This is true, but the two are not mutually exclusive. People can be sad and trust in God’s sovereignty.
Thankfully I have John 11 to guide me through any difficulties. If now I am suffering and headed towards death, I know it is to focus my eyes on God who raises that dead (2 Corinthians 1), and that it is because God loves me, and it is better for me to see Him as valuable and as He truly is than it is for me to be spared these sufferings.
There is a quote from Romeo and Juliet that I love. Juliet has been informed that she is going to have to marry Paris. Obviously this is upsetting as she is already married to Romeo, who is in exile. Juliet goes to Friar Lawrence to get advice and aide. He only says that he has heard. She is upset that all he can say is “I have heard of this.” She responds with a long retort, culminating in this line: “Be not so long to speak; I long to die!” And I love this.
The more I think about it, the more it sounds like something from the Psalms. Something I think I have expressed to God many times. “God, where are you? Why do you keep silent as I am in this distress? God, be not so long to speak! I long to die without You, and if You have no remedy!”
For Juliet, that desperation led to the Friar proposing his potion that simulates death (which, if not for star-crossed fate intervening would have worked quite well) since she clearly was beyond any fear of death.
For me, for us, I think this desperate longing for God is natural and helps refocus our faith and affection on Him. We seek Him because we trust Him to only do what is best for us. We know that He can restore us. We know He loves us. And we know that life is pointless without Him. I think this is a positive. And I think this is an important aspect of suffering. In our worst trials we can come to God more humble, more honest, more submissive than ever before. Paul commands us to rejoice in our sufferings, to boast in our weaknesses. If God is not for us, we have no hope, and we would long to die to end the suffering. When we are far from Him, we feel that same sense of urgency and despair. But that is when we seek Him, and He draws near to those who draw near to Him.
