In the past two weeks I have pretty much had a close friendship end, see someone I chased for two years start dating someone else, and as I was dealing with this pretty well, I got word that we were putting my dog down.  Needless to say I have felt pretty messed up emotionally.  (For anyone who doesn’t know me well, just know that my dog is the only person in my life who I am convinced truly loved me unconditionally.  To lose her is horrible.)  But there is hope.

“Oh Lord, You know the pain in my heart right now.  Lord, You know my struggle, my hurt, my sadness.  And I know that You are in control.  Even in the mire, I know I am blessed so far beyond what I deserve.  Your Son is enough for me to never doubt Your love and mercy.  God, even as they go I thank You for the vines You have grown up over me.  It was Your grace that allowed these things to come into my life, to bring a smile to my face, to shield me from the elements.  And God, it is Your loving providence that sends the worm to devour the vine as well.  Lord, it hurts, but I trust you.  I trust your grace and love for me.  I trust that Your providence will continue to bless me and provide for me.  And I know that even if no more vines grow, even if I am left exposed to the elements of pain and anguish, that You will sustain me; that by Your grace I will endure.  Let Your Spirit fill me Lord.  The same Spirit which raised Christ from the dead, let Him raise me up out of the mire and into the joy of Your mercy.  Sustain me through this, O God, and let my love for you abound more and more.  Amen.”