Everyone gets a good self-pitying drunk now and again, but that’s over.  You stay sober and do what needs doing.

That is one of my favorite lines from a book, ever. 

Also this old Irish saying: In life, there are only two things to worry about—
Either you are well or you are not well.
If you are well, there is nothing to worry about,

But if you are not well, there are only two things to worry about—
Either you will get well or you will die.
If you get well, there is nothing to worry about,

But if you die, there are only two things to worry about—
Either you will go to heaven or hell.
If you go to heaven, there is nothing to worry about.

And if you go to hell, you’ll be so busy shaking hands with all your friends
You won’t have time to worry!

Ignoring the joke in the last line, that seems like sound advice.

I just hate it when things happen that suck.  I mean, even when I go into something knowing it isn’t going to go well, it seems like one more surprise is waiting to kick me in the groin.  (I like Michael Scott’s quote: it feels like somebody took my heart, and dropped it into a bucket of boiling tears. And at the same time, somebody else is hitting my soul in the crotch with a frozen sledgehammer. And then a third guy walks in and starts punching me in the grief bone, and I am crying, and nobody can hear me, because I am terribly, terribly… terribly alone)  But seriously, it is one of those things I knew was going to hurt, but I could, barely, keep from bleeding out.  Then that last kick comes out of nowhere, surprises me, and hurts like hell.  And it makes me unable to keep the other parts closed.

In truth it just kind of sucks.  But at the same time I know God has His plan.  And I do trust it.  I asked Him to change the situation.  It has gotten worse.  I asked Him to keep it from hurting and affecting me.  It hurts worse than ever.  But still He is keeping me from falling away.  And that foundation is more than enough to stand on, even if I do not feel particularly stable.

And in the end there really isn’t a lot I can do about it.  I can only keep on.  I took about 24 hours to wallow in self-pity, and I feel like that is more than fair.  But it is time to get up, dust myself off, and keep doing things that need to get done.  Either it will turn out okay, or it will suck and I will die and end up in Heaven, which is actually better anyways.  No matter what, things cannot end badly for me.  And the ending is really all that matters.  Admittedly I would like the get there by living a life of joy and contentment.  But if that doesn’t happen, it doesn’t really matter. I’ve got Him.  That’s enough to get me through the day.